Twenty four years have passed when I saw myself standing at this same corner. It was dark, bare, and soundless that time. I can only see shadow of my body, hear my own heartbeat, and feel my own breathing. It is empty. And yes, I am alone.
But now, this corner seems to be chaotic and frenzy, disorganized and loud. Sounds and voices are coming from left and right. I can sense other’s inhalation, feel their pulse rates, and perceive their thoughts. Now, it is filled up with many people. And yes, I am not alone anymore.
Every day, I yearn for peace, for tranquility – same as what I have felt twenty four years ago. I heed to experience the same silent sensation, to taste the tingling effect of stillness. But, it can’t happen. I have to face the truth, I am not a kid anymore and I don’t have time machine, gadgets or gizmos to make me a child again. I am now a grown-up, and I have a lot of responsibilities to fulfill. I need to be with other people, to mingle with them – that sometimes, I felt anxious about that fact.
Well, I don’t know why, but every now and then, I have this “angst” feeling. I worry, guilty of being fretful. And I’m not happy of it. Worrying REALLY makes me feel sick. I need to battle this, and eventually, to win this war.
Twenty four years have passed when I saw myself standing at this same corner. Only to realized later that during that time, I am not alone. Yes, I am not. I have this “buddy” alongside that I am not aware of. Until, he introduced himself. And he promised me two things: 1) that I’ll be sensing again the peace I wanted and 2) that he’ll help me battling the war of fearing people. I just have to have “faith” on him.
But now, this corner seems to be chaotic and frenzy, disorganized and loud. Sounds and voices are coming from left and right. I can sense other’s inhalation, feel their pulse rates, and perceive their thoughts. Now, it is filled up with many people. And yes, I am not alone anymore.
Every day, I yearn for peace, for tranquility – same as what I have felt twenty four years ago. I heed to experience the same silent sensation, to taste the tingling effect of stillness. But, it can’t happen. I have to face the truth, I am not a kid anymore and I don’t have time machine, gadgets or gizmos to make me a child again. I am now a grown-up, and I have a lot of responsibilities to fulfill. I need to be with other people, to mingle with them – that sometimes, I felt anxious about that fact.
Well, I don’t know why, but every now and then, I have this “angst” feeling. I worry, guilty of being fretful. And I’m not happy of it. Worrying REALLY makes me feel sick. I need to battle this, and eventually, to win this war.
Twenty four years have passed when I saw myself standing at this same corner. Only to realized later that during that time, I am not alone. Yes, I am not. I have this “buddy” alongside that I am not aware of. Until, he introduced himself. And he promised me two things: 1) that I’ll be sensing again the peace I wanted and 2) that he’ll help me battling the war of fearing people. I just have to have “faith” on him.
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