Not Alone

Twenty four years have passed when I saw myself standing at this same corner. It was dark, bare, and soundless that time. I can only see shadow of my body, hear my own heartbeat, and feel my own breathing. It is empty. And yes, I am alone.

But now, this corner seems to be chaotic and frenzy, disorganized and loud. Sounds and voices are coming from left and right. I can sense other’s inhalation, feel their pulse rates, and perceive their thoughts. Now, it is filled up with many people. And yes, I am not alone anymore.

Every day, I yearn for peace, for tranquility – same as what I have felt twenty four years ago. I heed to experience the same silent sensation, to taste the tingling effect of stillness. But, it can’t happen. I have to face the truth, I am not a kid anymore and I don’t have time machine, gadgets or gizmos to make me a child again. I am now a grown-up, and I have a lot of responsibilities to fulfill. I need to be with other people, to mingle with them – that sometimes, I felt anxious about that fact.

Well, I don’t know why, but every now and then, I have this “angst” feeling. I worry, guilty of being fretful. And I’m not happy of it. Worrying REALLY makes me feel sick. I need to battle this, and eventually, to win this war.

Twenty four years have passed when I saw myself standing at this same corner. Only to realized later that during that time, I am not alone. Yes, I am not. I have this “buddy” alongside that I am not aware of. Until, he introduced himself. And he promised me two things: 1) that I’ll be sensing again the peace I wanted and 2) that he’ll help me battling the war of fearing people. I just have to have “faith” on him.

Train Riders

You wanted to go to your destination without consuming so much time, effort and money? Or you wanted to skip the traffic jam in the left and right side of the lane? Maybe, you sought of a cooler ride with sounds along side or sometimes trivia’s. If that is what you usually seek, then I think you’re an MRT-rider.

Well, I am an MRT fanatic. Ever since I lived here in Manila, I always ride the MRT trains in going to different places. It’s the fastest way to go to every destination, plus I think one of the cheapest. Also, I can find almost every type of persons there – two elders with their cane talking about their lives, a group of students discussing their assignments, three Office workers chatting about their work loads, two boys conversing about their crushes, a family happily talking about their day, a woman with an Ipod on her ears, and sometimes a couple with “LQ”. And since I usually ride the MRT alone and normally focused on where stations I am, I nearly memorize the usual “train lines” repeatedly played. :)

“Let us give seats to the elders, ladies and persons with disabilities”.
“Please avoid pushing one another while getting in and out of the train”.
“Please give way to the passengers in entering and leaving the train”.
“Please take care of your belongings. Kindly check your things in the train and in the station”.

There. Anyway, one thing that amazes me with trains is that they are not fueled with gasoline but instead by electricity. However, since they are still dependent to something, it is still not assured that trains can work well every time. With that thought, I remember an Old Filipino Christian song “Tsuper ng Buhay”, with this lyrics.

“Hesus ang tsuper ng buhay

dito ka sumakay gasolina'y pang habang buhay

biyahe mo ay sulit pagka't patungong langit

di pwede ang sumabit”

No questions asked. There’s nothing in this world, even trains, can help us to reach our ultimate destination. So, enjoy your ride with Him. :)